In my opinion essay

First of all, many of the technologies we take for granted today were originated thanks to space research. Take satellite technology, for example, which we depend on for broadcasting and weather forecasting. Without satellites, we would not be able to follow global events as they happen, nor give populations any warning of approaching storms. Space research has also led to the development of new lightweight materials that offer us heat protection and enable food preservation. Therefore, the challenge of sending human beings into space has often driven the development of new technologies that benefit our everyday lives.

Hello Simon
I really appreciate your effort.
But I'm wondering, why did you mention alternatives in the second paragraph? You categorized this topic as "'strong opinion", then if you strongly agreed, you would mention why you supported this idea in both paragraphs.
But these two paragraphs Would have been more suitable with "partly agree introduction and conclusion" that you agree that ex-prisoners are not the only way to encourage teens not to commit crimes.
But now I feel there is a discrepancy in meaning of overall idea.

Unlike many students who take my introductory courses on Islam with similar motivations, Taliesen defied my preconceptions. He did not drop the course. He persevered and struggled to learn how he could apply the critical study of religion to better understand the Islamic tradition in all its rich diversity and on its own terms. He wrote in the conclusion of his paper on the Race Talks event that the "event affirmed what I have learned throughout the semester... Islam, like all religions, is riddled with complexity. Dispelling ignorance about Islam will not come about through a two-hour panel... Rather, it will come about only when enough people pledge themselves to researching the deeper intricacies of Islamic history and the motley nature of the various cultures that have adopted Islam as their religion."

In my opinion essay

in my opinion essay

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